How do I talk about my fetish with my lover, wife, or girlfriend? Newcomers to the erotic hypnosis community often ask how this question. And the community has offered some suggestions.
Share a book or movie
The most common recommendation is to share a book, a movie, or a TV show that inspires your fantasies. Well written stories have a special ability to engage our imaginations and our emotions. Yet because the action happens to someone else (usually an imaginary character) the story can also provide a distance that protects us from taking the action too personally.
You can talk about the characters, what they did, what they enjoyed, how you felt watching them, and even how you would change the scene if you were writing or directing it. The impersonal focus of the conversation (imaginary characters) will allow you to easily steer the conversations into aspects of the scene that would be more awkward if you were talking about yourself and your lover directly. Once you understand how your lover perceives the activity generally, you have a fair idea of how they would respond to the suggestion of sharing it with you.
The erotic hypnosis community has an advantage here. Mind control is one of the most prevalent themes in popular fiction. Hundreds of books, movies and TV programs showed us pretty girls getting hypnotized including Batman, Gilligan’s Island, Get Smart, Lost in Space, Hart to Hart, Charlies Angels, Superfriends, Scooby Doo and Underdog. Mind control was also prevalent in comic books like The Avengers, Daredevil, Superman, and Wonder Woman.
Our community has often shared conversations about how watching these shows as kids (directly or indirectly) led to our sexual fantasies about hypnotizing others or being hypnotized ourselves. And I know of at least one person who, after following this discussion, went to his girlfriend and opened a conversation with “Honey, I found this discussion forum where people were talking about how watching Saturday morning cartoons led to their hypnosis fetish”. He reported that she broke out laughing and that led to a relaxed and enjoyable conversation. It even helped her open up and share her sexual interests with him.
People with other kinks/fetishes might not have the same abundance of literature. But these days it’s pretty easy to find erotic stories about nearly any kink or fetish. I’ve seen books and websites dedicated to spanking stories, bimbo transformation stories, consensual slavery stories, furry fetish stories, outdoor sex, tentacle sex, intricate rope bondage, machine rape, and dozens of other sexual kinks.
Write your own erotic story
If you can’t find a story that represents your favorite fantasy, write one. That’s what I did. After participating in online discussions, reading stories and developing my own erotic hypnosis recordings, I found that nothing available truly illustrated my perception of the hypnosis fetish. So I wrote my own story — which later evolved into two full-length novels, Redemption for the Hypnotist and the sequel, The Pygmalion Hypnotist.
Writing is one of the best ways to develop your ideas. When you add or change details, you explore how these changes influence the appeal of the fantasy. In the case of an erotic story, you can explore how certain details can make it even more erotic. In writing my first novel, I wanted to explore what could happen if an erotic hypnotist met a woman who shared his hypnosis fetish and became his creative muse. I showed how her support helped him grow as a person and an artist, and I showed the couple growing closer together as they explored their mutual interest.
In writing your story, you could explore how someone might develop and share your sexual kink. Then you could explore how sharing that kink changes the couple’s relationship for the better. You can even ask your lover to help you develop one of the characters, or to critique the story once it’s written, which would be another great (non-threatening) way to ask your lover what she thinks of the fantasy.
Be sex positive
According to sexologist, Gloria Brame, talking about fantasies is one of the most common sexual inhibitions. Even people with common sexual fantasies often fear sharing when they don’t know how their lover will respond. But if you adopt a sex positive attitude, you can make the discussion more about sharing sexual growth.
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If you’re looking to introduce your lover to the hypnosis fetish, share one of my short stories or one of my hypnosis books with your lover.
